Dan vs Friendship is Magic
by UnlitLantern
Summary: "You are here to complete six lessons Dan." The alicorn said. "You must learn kindness, generosity, laughter, honesty, loyalty, and magic. Only once you have done this will you be able to return to your reality and your home." Rating may change later on, I'm sorry if this is sub-par, I haven't been writing in a while. In progress.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Celestial Plane

Dan stormed down a long sidewalk of Los Angeles, small body shaking with rage. However, this anger felt much different from his usual brand of unreasonable, psychotic fury. This anger held the bitter pain of rejection and humiliation, an anger that Chris had knowingly inflicted on him.

Dan, after a great amount of denial, had finally told Chris of his secret feelings towards him. These feelings were nothing new though, Dan had quietly harbored them ever since the two had met in Summer camp so many years ago. It was only recently that he'd come to terms with them.

But even after all the confusion and mental agony these feelings had caused the man, Chris had the gall to reject him! To say that he didn't return the feelings, to remind him that he was married to Elise, even to say that Dan was crazy for feeling that way in the first place! Dan let out a loud, wordless yell as he recalled the night's events, too upset to keep silent.

"D-Dan, stop! Wait a second…." The small man heard a familiar voice call. He glanced behind him to see Chris running after him, his lack of athleticism keeping him from going very fast. Dan shot the other a look of anger and turned to face forward once again, furious that Chris had followed him.

"Dan _really!_ Please stop! I-I didn't mean to make you cry…." Dan's walking paused for a brief moment when he heard Chris say the last sentence, feeling now more than ever the dried tears that had made a thin crust around his eyes.

"Sh-shut up!" Dan yelled, quickly regaining his composure. He quickly rubbed the crust off of his face, starting to walk again, this time a little faster. He heard Chris' footsteps speed up as well as the larger man attempted to catch up to him. Dan growled lowly as he realized that Chris was still trying to follow him. "Don't you have a damn wife to spend time with?!" He spat angrily, voice breaking just a bit at the end. The other didn't reply, just continued to pursue him. Dan let out a noise of irritated exasperation and kept walking, becoming consumed by his enraged thoughts. After a few long minutes, Chris had managed to catch up to Dan, panting heavily. He quickly extended a hand, placing it on Dan's thin shoulder in an effort to keep him from moving any far forward.

And it worked to some extent.

Dan immediately halted, whipping around to face the other, green eyes blazing with enmity. Chris shrunk a bit, realizing that perhaps this wasn't the best method for stopping the other.

"_How dare you touch me!_" Dan roared, slapping Chris' hand away in resentment.

"Dan please…. I just…. want to talk-" Chris pleaded, still panting heavily from running for so long.

"_NO_!" The smaller man shouted, turning and beginning to run, just wanting to get away from the other. In order to get closer to his apartment, Dan ran into the street, keeping an eye out for the familiar neon Los Paradisio sign connected to his apartment. Chris, seeing the possible dangers of running into the street, tried to call Dan back to him.

"Dan wait! Get back over here!" He yelled, motioning for the other to come back.

"Fuck you!" Was all Dan said in reply, stopping for a moment to yell back at Chris.

Suddenly, a loud noise broke through their words, the loud, deep sound of a car horn. Dan spun to see the source of the noise. But his eyes were quickly forced shut as he was covered in the bright fluorescent beams of headlights. Dan lifted a hand up to try and see, realizing that a car was hurdling towards him. The man froze like a deer at the realization, unable to move.

"_DAN!_" Chris screamed, eyes widening in terror.

Dan quickly squeezed his eyes shut, unable to do anything else as fear gripped his entire body.

He didn't even feel the car slam into him. The impact was so powerful that Dan's nerves didn't even register it at first. Dan slammed into the ground less than moment later, landing hard on his back. His green eyes stared blankly at the sky, the bright stars becoming blurry and dark.

"_Dan….! Dan….!"_ A seemingly far away voice yelled. Through his fading vision, Dan saw a large dark figure appear to his right, crouch down, and wrap his strong arms around him. _"Dan…. Listen to me…. Ok….?"_ The blurry figure begged. _"I'm going to get you to the hospital…. Just hang on…. Ok….?_

_Ok….?_

_Dan….?" _The voice, along with Dan's vision, faded completely to a deep, dark, heavy blackness.

"_Dan…_." A soft, feminine voice called, worming it's way through the blackness, like a lantern on a foggy night. Dan's eyes slowly opened as he heard the voice, vision still somewhat blurry.

"_Dan…_." The voice called again. It sounded like whoever was speaking was coming closer.

"Wha…. What is it….?" Dan mumbled quietly, forcing himself into a sitting position so that he could see whoever was talking. He tried to look around, but could see nothing but bright shades of greens and blues. His eyes scanned slowly around the infinite space, trying to find the person that had spoken.

Out of the immense green-blue space a figure emerged. Tall, glowing white, with long, flowing blue, purple, green, and pink hair. It was walking towards him, calling his name in a kind, soft voice. Dan opened his eyes a little wider in an attempt to make out more of the blurry figure. As it approached, Dan realized that what he'd assumed had been a person calling his name, wasn't a human at all! It was an equine, or more specifically, an alicorn. It was tall and thin with sparkling white fur and golden fleur-de-lis boots fit snugly around her hooves. The alicorn wore a large, gold necklace-like accessory around her neck, with a purple, diamond shaped jewel placed in the middle. Dan noticed that in front of the alicorn's long horn, a shiny golden crown was perched, adorned with a single purple gem.

The creature continued to approach the small man, this time in silence. Dan blinked several times, hardly believing what was coming towards him. The alicorn, who was much taller than Dan, stopped just a few feet away from the man, her large violet eyes looking down at him. she lowered her head so that her eyes were level with Dan's.

"_Hello Dan._" The alicorn said in a soft, kind voice. Dan stared awestruck at the creature, his mind trying desperately to form response.

"Um…. H-hi…." The man said quietly, still staring at the equine in amazement. "Where…. Where am I….?"

"_The Celestial Plane._" The alicorn replied, raising her head back up to display her full height. "_A place that exists between realities, a place that any living thing must pass through in order to enter a new realm._" The human blinked, still trying to fully understand the situation.

"So then…. Why am I here….?" Dan asked, his tone confused.

"You are here," The alicorn began, "to learn." The man tilted his head to the side, his confusion increasing at the statement.

"What do you mean? What do I have to learn?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 'Maybe I'm dreaming….' Dan thought to himself. 'It would make definitely sense….'

"_You are here to complete six lessons Dan."_ The alicorn said. _"You must learn kindness, generosity, laughter, honesty, loyalty, and magic. Only once you have done this will you be able to return to your reality and your home."_

"R-return?!" Dan said, eyes widening as the alicorn's words began to sink in. "What do you mean?! Did you kidnap me?!" The human said, his voice getting louder as he began to panic.

"_Dan. You have not been kidnapped. I have brought you here to learn the magic of friendship._"

"Magic of….?! You can't be serious!" Dan yelled, trying to stand. But as he went to move, he found he couldn't. His arms, his legs, even his torso were incapable of movement. The man looked frantically back up at the equine, a mixture of terror and anger evident in his eyes.

"_Do not fear Dan. You will be in good hooves_." The alicorn said calmly, leaning her head back down, purple eyes focused on the human. Dan stared dumbly at the creature, mouth slightly agape.

"I-I'm not scared!" The man retorted, quickly trying to compose himself. "I'm not scared of some dumb horse! You're going on the list you no-good, stupid-!" Dan's outraged words were cut off as the alicorn leaned down and touched the tip of her long, slender horn to his forehead. The human's yelling instantly died down as a feeling of exhaustion swept through his body. "You…. You're…. G-gonna…." He mumbled, beginning to sway side to side. "You're…. Gonna…. Get it…." Dan mumbled, falling unconscious in front of the alicorn.

The creature smiled and leaned back up, her horn glowing with a soft yellow magic. The alicorn began to carefully levitate Dan off the ground, bringing his limp body around and setting him on her back, his chest leaning against the back of her neck. She smiled and began to gracefully walk away, bringing Dan into the magical world of Equestria.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Lyra Heartstrings: Expert Anthropologist

Twilight Sparkle ran hurriedly around the library, levitating a fluffy feather duster using the magic of her horn. She willed the duster to fly to the book-filled shelves, quickly dusting off the spines of the publications. The lavender alicorn was being followed by a portly purple and green baby dragon. The dragon was dragging a long to-do list behind him, the sound of fluttering of paper accompanying his small footsteps.

"Ok Spike, what's now?" Twilight asked, addressing the baby dragon behind her.

"Let's see…." Spike mumbled, holding the extensive list up to his bright green eyes. "We made the beds?"

"Check~" Twilight replied, drawing an imaginary checkmark in the air with her hoof.

"Beat the rugs?" The dragon asked, using a long, sleek quill to write a check by the previous to-do.

"Check~" The alicorn replied, repeating the quick motion.

"Swept the floors? Cleaned the windows? Dusted the shelves?" Spike asked, making a check and glancing up at Twilight with a smile.

"Check, check, and in progress." Twilight responded, lifting a hoof to point at the feather duster, still diligently dusting off the spines of the books

"Organize the shelves?" The baby dragon questioned, looking up from the checklist to watch the feather duster. The young alicorn gasped, eyes widening with realization.

"We didn't organize the shelves!" She yelled loudly. Her horn instantly began to radiate bright pink magic, enveloping every book on the shelves in the same enchantment. The books then flew from the shelves and tumbled to the floor, filling the library with the loud thumps of bound paper and ink.

"Twilight!" Spike cried out, covering his head as the books fell. "What're you doing?!"

"We have to organize the shelves!" Twilight replied, lifting up two books with her magic and examining the covers. "Princess Celestia will be here any minute and everything has to be _perfect!" _ The young alicorn quickly placed the publications on the shelves and held two more up to her face to examine. Spike rolled his eyes, dropped the list, and began to wade through the sea of books in an attempt to get to Twilight. Once he got over to the alicorn, he clumsily climbed up onto her back, holding on to her purple and pink mane for support.

"I don't think the princess will care if the shelves are organized…." The baby dragon protested, watching the other with an irritated expression. Twilight ignored the other's protest and continued to frantically sort the books. Her actions were stopped however when she heard a loud knock from the front door of the treehouse.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! She's ahead of schedule! Hurry Spike, help me put the books away!" Twilight cried, using her magic to lift up her books and hurriedly shove them back onto the shelves.

Another knock sounded from the door, making Twilight drop a few of her books.

"Just a minute princess Celestia!" The young alicorn called, her tone sounding nervous and apologetic.

"Princess Celestia? Twilight, it's me, Lyra!" A laughing voice replying from behind the library's wooden door. Twilight's actions instantly ceased at the reply, taking a minute to process what had been said. She quickly placed the rest of the books on the shelves and trotted the to the door, quickly opening the door. Standing outside of the door was a familiar pastel green unicorn with bright yellow eyes and a wide grin. A small brown satchel was slung over her back with what appeared to be a book inside. Twilight tilted her head for a moment, a tad confused that it wasn't her teacher on the other side of the door. After a few seconds however, she shook it off and returned the other's cheerful expression.

"Good morning Lyra! What brings you to the library?" The alicorn asked with a smile. Spike waved to the unicorn from Twilight's back, pleased to have a visitor. Lyra gave a quick wave to the baby dragon before returning her attention to Twilight.

"I came to return the book I borrowed." Lyra replied, using one of her green hooves to open her satchel and pull out a thick, brown book. The text on the front of the book read 'The Mystery of Anthropology' in large gold letters. Her horn became aglow with magic, and she picked up the book and held it out for Twilight. "I just finished it a few hours ago, and I want to get another one to read." She said, leaning to the side a bit to eagerly peek at the wide display of books behind the purple alicorn. Twilight smiled and took the book from Lyra, stepping to the side with a welcoming smile. Lyra beamed and galloped into the library, running to the mythology section of the library. She browsed the shelves for a few moments before plucking a leather-bound book titled 'Humans' from the shelves. Twilight handed the brown book to Spike with a smile.

"Can you put this away for me Spike?" She asked, thrusting the book into Spike's arms. The dragon nodded and hopped off of Twilight's back, waddling over to the shelves. As he did so, he brought the worn book up to his face to examine it. He then turn to Lyra and asked.

"Hey Lyra, what's 'anthropology'?" Spike asked curiously, holding up the book and pointing to the title. Lyra glanced over at Spike before placing her chosen book inside of her satchel. The mare then trotted over to the dragon and began to eagerly explain the definition of 'anthropology'.

"'Anthropology', or as some call it, 'philosophical anthropology', is the study and science of the origins, development, customs, and work of humankind!" She said proudly. At that moment, any pony could tell that Lyra Heartstrings was deeply fascinated with anthropology just from the way in which she described it. Lyra's passion however was lost on Spike, for all he did in response was cock his head and let out a confused 'huh?'.

"It's the study of humans!" The unicorn exclaimed excitedly, bouncing a bit as she spoke.

"What's a human?" Spike asked, still as confused as before.

"It's a fantastic creature," Lyra replied, sitting back on her haunches and grabbing the book from her bag. She then opened the book to a detailed sketch of a human being, an adult male to be specific. "One that doesn't have any magic or wings or anything! They walk on two legs, wear clothes all the time, and they are actually really advanced!"

"But they're only myths." Twilight replied, loping over to join her friends. "No pony actually has any proof that they exist besides legends and rare sighting from long ago."

"But they _are_ real!" Lyra replied. "And they're out there, I'm certain of it. The proof is in these books."

"And with me young Heartstrings." A smooth, wise-sounding voice interrupted. The three quickly turned to the door, their eyes widening at the sight of their princess's head poking through the library's open door.

"P-Princess Celestia!" Twilight yelped, quickly bowing before her teacher. Lyra and Spike did the same, lowering their heads to the ground to show their respect.

"No need for that," The princess said, waving a gold-clad hoof dismissively. "This isn't a formal visit."

Twilight nodded and quickly moved back into a standing position. Lyra and Spike did the same, all three of them looking at Celestia curiously.

"What do you mean 'and with me'? Is this what your visit is about?" The young alicorn asked confusedly.

"No, this visit is about your new guest." Celestia replied. Her gaze then shifted to Lyra. "Lyra, I'm glad you're here. I want you to assist Twilight with her houseguest." The green mare's eyes widened at the statement, even more confused than before.

"Me? Why me?" She asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Because Twilight's guest is not a pony, nor a dragon, or even another alicorn. It is in fact," The princess said, pausing a moment to walk through the library door. Once the rest of her body came into view, the three saw a short, sleeping creature clinging to her flowing mane. It sat upon her back with it's chest and cheek pressed into the back of Celestia's neck. It had two skinny arms and two skinny legs, and it's body was almost covered in clothing. It had pale peach-colored skin and short black hair. It had a soul patch and black stubble on it's chin, and it was snoring softly. "A human."

Twilight started a bit, raising her hoof in surprise.

"A _human?!_" She asked in amazement, staring at the snoring creature.

Lyra Heartstring gawked at the creature, her mouth hanging open in astonishment. After a few moments, she shut her mouth and tentatively began to trot towards the human.

"I _knew_ it…." She breathed softly, raising up her head up to stare at it. The princess chuckled softly.

"Yes you did. And since you know so much about humans, I want you to help Twilight take care of him." She said with a smile. "At least until he gets used to Ponyville." Lyra looked up at Celestia with a huge grin.

"Yes yes yes! I'd love to!" The unicorn squealed, bouncing a bit as she replied.

"Wonderful." Princess Celestia replied with a smile. Her horn then lit up with yellow magic and she looked back at the human. His body was quickly enveloped in the same magic, and the princess gently lifted him off of her back and placed him onto the wood floor. "You don't mind, do you Twilight?" She asked, looking over at her pupil for confirmation. Twilight shook her head.

"Of course not Princess Celestia! With my magic and Lyra's extensive knowledge of humans, this should be a snap~" The purple alicorn said, tapping her hoof on the ground to replicate the sharp sound of a snap.

"But I should warn you though, this human isn't well versed in the six elements or in the magic of friendship. I'm leaving it up to you and your friends to teach him everything you know." Princess Celestia said. "Will you accept this task?"

"Of course." Twilight said firmly, accepting the task without a second thought.

"Good." The princess replied, giving the other a trusting smile. "I must return to Canterlot now, if you have any problems, write me a letter Twilight." She said, turning and trotting out of the library. "And by the way, you did a nice job organizing the books."

Twilight beamed at the praise, turning to Spike as she smiled.

"See? She _noticed._"


End file.
